TISM EXCLUSIVE - NOT AVAIL IN STORES - CLEAR VINYL
THE TISM DELUXE OMNI-ALBUM
Why pay for multiple TISM albums in vinyl format when you can buy only one? The Omni-Album is an all-purpose 12" album cover just like any other record cover, featuring new cover art and song listings compiled from all six TISM album releases. The Standard Edition Omni-Album has no vinyl at all; but, even better, this Deluxe Version of the TISM Omni-Album comes with an actual vinyl disc, filled with total silence, so as not to detract from the sound quality of the music.
With its lesser dynamic range, worse signal-to-noise ratio, inferior channel separation, variation in playback speed, limited sound capacity, and susceptibility to heat, dust and damage, vinyl is an inexplicably re-emerging gimmick for pox-addled hair-lipped shut-ins who are trying too hard to compensate for their goitered lives.
The TISM Deluxe Omni-Album’s disc contains 100 minutes of total silence, allowing you to savour the full vinyl experience: you will extract the soon-to-scratched disc from the soon-to-be bent cover, place it on a revolving turntable powered by latest in 1920’s technology, and then attempt to drop a tiny, fragile and expensive needle onto an inconsistently revolving wax groove. With the TISM Deluxe Omni-Album, all the features of analogue listening are yours: turntable rumble, extraneous cartridge noise, clicks and pops as the stylus hits dust, and, of course, the repetitive insanity of a needle endlessly skipping over the permanently damaged surface.
And remember: with the TISM Deluxe Omni-Album’s carefully mastered total silence, you can listen to TISM's music in any non-analogue format you choose. (These formats are available for separate purchase.)
The TISM Delux Omni-Album is the ultimate TISM listening experience. (The TISM Ultra Deluxe Double Omni-Album – with its two completely silent vinyl discs – has been banned by the Victorian Department of Consumer Affairs because, according to their spokesperson, “surely there’s no deadshit stupid enough to buy it.”)
This redux version of the TISM Deluxe Omni-Album now has even more silence.
THIS VINYL DISC CONTAINS NO MUSIC WHATSOEVER